This is my story ...

I didn’t plan to be a coach or psychotherapist when I grew up. I definitely didn't plan to be a certified sex therapist. 

Like many women, I grew up with cultural expectations of women's worth being tied to caretaking and productivity and with shame-based messages about what good girls do and don’t do.

It took me until midlife to overcome those and design a life in which I gave myself permission to honor my own wants and needs.

I graduated from the United States Military Academy at West Point in the 5^th class that included women, served as an Army officer, and then went to work in the corporate world where I became a senior manager at Hallmark Cards. 

I was an overachiever junkie, busy trying to please everyone and be perfect, but that’s a recipe for disaster.

I always wanted to be in a helping profession and felt a tug to go back to school to become a therapist.

As I worked with more and more clients, I realized several important things:  first, women were stuck in a trap of productivity and caretaking and not living their lives for themselves, second, some people weren’t doing a great job building healthy relationships, and finally, many needed help with their intimacy.

But here’s the thing, I didn’t think I was doing a good job at either of those things in my own life. So how could I help others?

I did some soul searching about what was important to me.  I became intentional about nurturing all the important relationships in my life. I did a deep dive into my identity and what was important to me in life.

I centered my life around 5 pillars of importance: emotional wellness, a healthy body, strong relationships, community and self-esteem that comes from deep inside, not from my productivity.

I realized how privileged I was because my training helped me to navigate mid-life and its assorted problems in a way that created more personal joy and peace and strengthened my relationships.