What Will You Do When the Little Blue Pill Doesn’t Work?
The Little Blue Pill is One of the Most Successful Drugs.
Taking a little blue pill to get an erection is a great solution for many people. In fact, for some people, it’s the only way they can get an erection. The pill gives them the sexual confidence they need.
However, it’s not magic. It doesn’t work for everyone. Plus, it might start off working well and then fizzle out. I’m going to help you with what to do when the little blue pill doesn’t work. If you have erectile dysfunction (ED) and the pill isn’t working, and you want to have sex, then you’ll love this information.
It’s safe to say that the majority of people walking around on the earth want to be able to have sex. Most people enjoy sex and having sex is part of our overall health.
But wow, when you really want to have sex and you can’t get hard, that’s really tough. It can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you, like you are somehow failing to be a man. That’s a direct blow to your self-confidence.
It fills you with shame. There’s no one to talk with about it because who really wants to hang out with their friends and tell them you have erectile dysfunction (ED)? Many men are busy bragging about sexual conquests. They aren’t talking about their problems.
It’s easy to feel like you are all alone with this awful problem of ED.
But, you aren’t alone. Close to 325 Million men worldwide will have ED by 2025. That’s a lot of people struggling with the same awful problem.
And many of them rely on a pill to get hard.
The Little Blue Pill Doesn’t Work for Everyone.
Unfortunately, a lot of those men are going to be disappointed. The pill doesn’t work for about 30% of the people who try it. Many people take the pill don't take it correctly.
Sildenafil and Vardenafil should be taken 30-60 minutes before intercourse, and should be taken without food as food decreases effectiveness. They are active for about 4-6 hours.
Tadalafil is not impacted by food but doesn't reach the ideal concentration in your blood until 2 hours after you've taken it. Tadalafil is active in your body for up to 36 hours. Finally, sometimes pills are not effective due to the progressive worsening of the underlying causes of erectile dysfunction.
The Pill Won't Fix Your Relationship.
But many people assume it will. If your relationship was in a bad place before you got ED, taking pills to get an erection won't suddenly fix it.
Also, if your partner wasn't interested in sex before ED, they won't suddenly be enthusiastic about it. They must WANT to have sex with you. That means, you must intentionally build your relationship outside of the bedroom if you want them to want you in the bedroom.
- Talk with them about meaningful things, not just administrative tasks related to managing your family.
- Spend time with them.
- Date them.
- Treat them well.
- Meet their needs.
- Touch them non-sexually.
- Don't take them for granted.
- Cherish them.
And if you need more help, check out the blog posts about 30 ways to increase intimacy and strengthen your relationship.
The Biggest Mistakes People Make When the Pill Doesn’t Give Them an Erection
You play doctor.
You play doctor and increase your dosage because you read that it helped someone else. You look online for alternative treatments and begin trying a variety of things, without proper medical guidance and with no clear plan. Always check with your doctor first.
You start to worry about your erections.
Instead of initiating sex, you avoid it. The idea of having sex fills you with anxiety. We call that performance anxiety or performance worry. It’s a worry that you won’t be able to stay hard enough to sexually satisfy your partner. Performance anxiety becomes a huge problem for many men.
You give up on being sexual.
We are wired to be sexual beings. Our sexual health is a poor part of our overall well-being. Giving up sex because intercourse isn’t possible shuts you out of experiencing the numerous possibilities of other sexual pleasures.
The health of your penis requires a regular influx of blood pumping into it. This is one of the reasons you have nocturnal erection. It’s very important for you to continue to stimulate your penis to encourage blood flow to keep your penis healthy.
You stop or avoid any physical touch in your relationship.
Sadly, this is a common response for men with erectile dysfunction. You avoid any type of situation where sexual intimacy is possible. As a result, you start to avoid the types of things that are important to a loving relationship.
- Any type of physical touch
- Romantic date nights
- Cuddling on the couch
- Holding your partner in bed
- Pleasing your partner sexually
You are afraid that if you do these things, your partner will want to have sex. And if that happens, you’ll feel pressure to have a hard erection. So it’s easier to avoid anything that leads to sex.
This makes sense because not getting an erection makes you feel lousy. It would make anyone feel that way. No one wants to feel shame, or like a failure. And no one wants to disappoint their partner.
The Best Things to Do When the Pill Doesn’t Work
Go to your doctor.
They are the experts on medical causes for ED. If the pill isn’t working anymore, you might need a bigger dose. Or you might need to try another brand of pill or a different medical intervention like an injection or a pump.
Talk to your partner about your ED.
It’s not a surprise to them. They know it’s happening. Not talking about it doesn’t make the problem go away. In fact, it makes your partner feel shut out. Also, if you’ve kept the pill a secret from your partner, tell them. Many men take the pill in secret.
Talking to them will help both of you understand what the other is going through. You’ll no longer feel alone with ED. It will be a shared problem, not yours and this might reduce your anxiety. Plus, it will help them to know that your ED has nothing to do with how sexy they are or aren’t.
Make lifestyle changes.
Erections are neurovascular events. That means they involve your central nervous system and your cardiovascular system. A healthy body with a strong heart and good blood flow through your veins is vital to your erection health.
Taking care of your body improves your ability to get and keep an erection. That includes:
- Getting enough sleep
- A healthy diet
- Limiting smoking, drugs, and alcohol
- Reducing stress
Make sure that you are not relying 100% on the pill for your erection.
They are not a magic pill despite the advertising messages. The pills help you get an erection but you still need physical and erotic stimulation. That means you need your partner to touch your penis. You also need to get aroused erotically. That might be fantasizing, looking at your partner’s body, talking dirty, or anything else that excites your senses. Plus, the older you get, the more stimulation you need.
Address performance anxiety or worry.
You likely worry that you won’t get hard and won’t be able to “perform” well enough to give your partner sexual pleasure. This can really impact you. Once these worries get in your head, they are hard to get rid of. Plus, it just takes one experience of ED to start a vicious cycle of performance anxiety causing future ED.
Tools like mindfulness can help you get out of your head and enable you to focus on the sexual pleasure you feel in the moment. If you stay in your head, your brain doesn’t pay attention to all the sexual feelings that cue arousal.
The result is that the freight train of endless performance worries and thoughts prevents you from getting or staying hard.
Address any other sexual problem in your relationship.
You need to address any other factors contributing to your ED. For example, if your partner experiences sexual pain, that can exacerbate ED because you are afraid of hurting them. If your partner has a low desire and doesn’t give you signals that they desire you, then that can be a turn-off that contributes to ED.
Having pleasurable sex when the little blue pills don’t work requires you to do some or all of the above things. Perhaps the most important thing you can do to increase success is to not always have intercourse be your goal. What? Is your mind blown? Sex is intercourse, right? Well, only partly.
Time for a big mindset shift!
Intercourse is sex but not all sex is intercourse.
If you and your partner can redefine sex as anything that feels sexually pleasurable, then the possibilities of things you can do are endless. So if you have an erection, you can do many things. Likewise, if you don’t have an erection, you can still do many things.
When you can adopt this mindset, you and your partner can have an amazing and fulfilling sex life that doesn’t depend on a hard penis.
No longer will you avoid sex. No longer will you feel the shame and pain of ED and a lack of sex. You can both feel desired again. You can both express your deep feelings of love sexually.
Doesn’t that sound much better than both of you sitting in separate rooms, feeling miserable about ED, and wishing you were having sex?
So what's your takeaway? What's something you can do when the little blue pill doesn’t work?
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If you need help overcoming erectile dysfunction, the ED Masterclass guides you (and your partner) through a step-by-step process to a better relationship filled with the sex you want.
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