Will Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's Relationship Last? Why I Think They'll Remain a Couple
Will Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's Relationship Last? Why I Think They'll Remain a Couple
It seems like everyone has been talking about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's relationship lately and offering up their opinion. I'm super excited for them and I'm hoping they'll cultivate a loving long-term relationship. And so today, my periodic co-host and son Cooper and I are going to chat about why I think they will.
This is our opinion on whether or not we think Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce will make it long term. Not only is this a fun topic, but it’s also a pretty cool topic because we're from Kansas City and we are also big Chiefs fans. Go Chiefs! #chiefskingdom #traviskelce #taylorswift
As a couples therapist and as someone who is an expert in relationships and sex, I think they've got the ability to make it long term. Cooper’s opinion is that he’d like to believe they can make it.
The video from this podcast episode has been live on my YouTube channel since the podcast aired and I’ve enjoyed reading the many comments. Most of them are very positive, but as with anything, there are some folks who are skeptical and judgmental about their relationship.
It would be nice if people could be supportive of those around them and just let people be who they are without feeling a need to criticism them or tear them down. Unfortunately, some people love to watch people fail and they also like to tear people down when they're not having the best of days as a way of making themselves feel better. Both Cooper and I think the true Taylor Swift fans want her to be happy. And so if she's happy with Travis, why not let that continue?
Okay, so I have a secret I have to share. I really don't know a ton of Taylor Swift's music because, well, I'm 61. So she really wasn't my generation, per se. But when everyone went to see her in concert, I became interested in learning more about her. All four of my kids have talked a lot about her, and recently, they sat around the dinner table recently talking about their favorite Taylor Swift album.
Because I wanted a glimpse into who she is, I went to see the Eras tour movie with my daughter and granddaugther. I probably would not have done that had she and Travis Kelsey not been dating. I’m so glad I went because I was ABSOLUTELY BLOWN AWAY. I was thoroughly impressed with her, including her maturity, her stage presence, the way she sang, and the lyrics.
I looked up the song lyrics on my phone so I could follow allow with the lyrics while she was singing. That was probably the best way for me to understand the words. After all, I have the subtitles on for TV shows!
We Love Taylor
I think the way she writes and sings about what’s relevant for her based on her stage of life is brilliant. Coming from a musical background, Cooper thinks she's currently far and away above anyone else in the field from a music lyric standpoint. He even thinks she's this generation's like Paul McCartney and John Lennon in writing songs that impact people in meaningful ways.
Recently, my brother was in town visiting and we asked him about some of his favorite songs. One of them was a Day in the Life by the Beatles. Cooper compared a Day in the Life to Taylor Swift’s music in that both are very emotional in a way that's not outright emotional. Taylor Swift’s music, even when it’s about heartbreak or wrong doing isn’t “ Oh, woe is me”, but instead, there are a lot of layers and elements to it that make people think. And that's why the comparison with John and Paul came about.
We also appreciated that her music isn’t filled with melodrama. She simply puts it out there as if she is saying, “hey, this is fact, this is it, right?” And as a result, she's very relatable to people, which is part of her appeal.
As a musician, we both think Taylor Swift is absolutely fantastic. She's reinvented herself in several genres. We also think she's a musical genius and a savvy business person, and that she has hired brilliant business people to manage her career.
Cooper shared a little anecdotal story about the efficiency of Taylor Swift’s stage semi trucks for her tour. She has two stages for her tour. One of them is with group A truck drivers and the others with group B. So group A will go to New York city and set up while group B goes to Boston and sets up. So she performs in New York and then she goes to Boston next. And while she's going to Boston, that stage is already set up. So New York goes next to another city and gets set up for the next tour stop. Cooper thought it was the first tour to manage the stage set up in this manner.
Reasons Travis and Taylor’s Relationship Has the Ability to Last
They Have Similar Family Values
Both Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift have really strong family values. They're both really close and connected to their family. Travis does a podcast with his brother, but his mom's at the games and has been on commercials with them. You can just tell they have a really good relationship by the way they interact and by how you witness Travis’ mother and Taylor interacting. We've seen his mom in Travis's box at games hanging out with Taylor.
It's crucial for both partners to prioritize family values for a relationship to thrive. When you both understand the importance of family, it provides a strong foundation for your relationship. Sharing common values like commitment and loyalty makes dealing with challenges much smoother. It's about supporting each other and being in sync. Being aligned on family values creates a stable and supportive environment. In the long run, it's not just about being a couple; it's about building a lasting partnership that can navigate life's obstacles together.They just really agree and have similar family values. Yeah. So the first reason why I think they will stay together stems from that.
Also, when you grow up in a family where you are close and connected and you have respect for your parents and a good relationship with them, you tend to have what we call secure love. Psychotherapists study a theory called attachment theory, which describes how people are in relationships with other people.
The theory suggests that early experiences with caregivers shape an individual's emotional and interpersonal development. It identifies different attachment styles, such as secure, insecure-avoidant, insecure-anxious, and disorganized, based on how individuals perceive and respond to relationships. These attachment patterns tend to influence an individual's approach to intimacy, trust, and emotional support in future relationships. Attachment theory is widely used to understand interpersonal dynamics and how early caregiving experiences impact one's psychological well-being and relational behaviors throughout life.
Some people are securely attached, meaning they can show up and be authentic and genuinely them in the relationship.
and they trust that their partner is going to be there for them. They know their partner is going to love them for who they are and accept them for who they are. And that is what you get when you grow up with a primary caregiver, typically mom, but it can be dad too, that shows up for you, that is there for you, that loves you no matter what, and accepts you unconditionally. It’s clear that happened in both of those families.
According to attachment theory, there other ways of relating to people, like you can be anxiously attached, meaning you need constant reassurance that the other person loves you. You can also be insecure or avoidantly attached, where you've been hurt so much in your life that you hold things in and you don't let people into your inner world and really share about yourself. You keep people emotionally at an arm's length. And then there's a final style called disorganized that's a combination of anxious and avoidant.
Just from observing Taylor and Travis interact, and looking at their family environments, I would imagine they're both securely attached unless something went awry in their past relationships that made them lose their confidence in themselves.
They are Both Successful Leaders in Their Professions
The second reason is I think Taylor and Travis have the ability to have a long-lasting relationship is that they are both very strong leaders in their own fields. They aren’t competing in the same space with one another and they're both leaders in what they do. That enables both of them to have confidence and independence. They can respect the other for their achievements and their abilities and their successes.
And it's good that they are successful in unique areas, because people who are different are more attractive to one another because they bring a lot more energy into the relationship because of the their differences. Also, because they both have already had so much success, they both have strong self-esteem and will be less likely to have power differential where one partner is better than the other, and where one partner has achieved more than the other. They don’t appear to be needy people.
Cooper added that compared to past boyfriends, entering the sports domain is a whole new world for Taylor. He commented that Taylor’s past boyfriends were serious (a list of J-names: John Mayer, Joe Jonas, Joe Alwyn, Jake Gyllenhaal). Not only werre they good at what they did, but they were also the type of people that needed to look good for the camera.
Travis is a great looking guy, but at the same time he's okay looking out of place and he's okay with being uncomfortable. And I think that kind of compliments Taylor's eccentric side. Travis is 100% Travis. He's not 50% Travis and 50% “Oh, I’ve got to look cool for the camera”. A video from Taylor’s Eras Tour concert in Argentina showed Travis hanging out with Taylor’s dad. They had recently met and there they were hanging out during the concert.
They're Both Very Strong People
Both Travis and Taylor are strong people with big personalities. And some people say, no, that's bad; they'll never stay together because they have such big personalities. But actually I think that that's a good thing for these two. They're both really confident in themselves and secure. And that lends itself to the fact that Taylor can go to a game of Travis's and support him and not have to be the main character. And then, when Travis goes to her concert, she's the main character. And so it's a nice give and take in the relationship. With her past boyfriends, it's always been 50-50 battles between the two. But it appears that Travis is more than happy to take a step back and realize just how much of a megastar she is compared to him.
They Have Mutual Respect
From what we've observed, both Taylor and Travis respect one another. Travis appears to really respect Taylor’s talents and who she is as a person. And part of that respect is his desire to, to give her privacy, to modify their dating, so that she has the privacy she needs. She doesn't talk in between concerts because she needs to save her voice. And he's okay with that. He doesn't need her to complete him. She doesn't need him to complete her either.
When I work with some couples, I use this analogy of an oxygen tank. When you are scuba diving, you each have your own oxygen tank. But in some relationships, your partner becomes your oxygen tank. That can be very unhealthy because you become so needy that you need that person to function and to be whole and happy. That's not true about Taylor and Travis.
They have enormous success in their own right but also such respect for one another that they're able to show upin the way they need to for the other in the relationship. So it's not as much about them as they're focused on the other and what the other needs. An example of this is when Travis was asked at a post-game press conference if Taylor would be at the next game. And he said something to the effect of, “I don't want to speak about my personal life. Like you can, you can make your assumptions, but I'm not going to talk about it.”
It just shows that if they were to break up tomorrow, Taylor would still be Taylor and Travis would still be Travis, like they wouldn't change dramatically because of it. I mean, Taylor would probably write a great album because of it, but at the end of the day, they'd still be Travis and Taylor and that just shows how confident they are in what type of person and who they are, that they are able to be themselves with and without their partner there.
They Respect What the Other Needs
Travis bought out a restaurant so the two could have privacy while they ate dinner. We think that is wonderful! Obviously Travis the money. He can do that. But really, that was him knowing her well enough to know what she needed in order to feel safe and have a good time. He's more than willing to accommodate to what she needs.
And she is too. She's obviously not going to cancel a tour and Travis isn't going to move a game just so she could be there or they could see each other. But they're both accommodating to the other's careers.
Emotionally healthy and good partners are attuned to the other. They know what their partners need and how they're feeling. They check in with them, and so they are able to show up for their partners in the way their partners need them. I think we're seeing evidence of that with them.
They Likely Won’t Fight About Money
Some of the top things couples fight about are money, sex, and family. Sometimes they have really bad communications, but those are the things they really fight about. We don't think they're gonna be fighting about money. We also don’t think they will fight about family. They both value family. It'd be different if family was important to one and not the other. And so that leaves us with potential fights about sex. Do we think they will fight about sex?
Well, we think their sex would be pretty hot but you never know. And I guess we will never know. And we should never know, right?
They Met Each Other at the Right Time
Both Taylor and Travis are in the stage of life where they have a solid sense of who they are. They have been through a number of relationships and they probably have a much better idea of what they really want and need in a partner. This also might be a good time for both because Travis is likely near the end of his career. If he was 25, he'd still want to be proving himself, but he’s done that. The maturity he has at this point is probably one of the things that allows him to take a bit of a backseat to Taylor, and let her take center stage. Perhaps Travis will retire soon and launch himself into a post-football career, where he feels less pressure and his schedule is less-demanding. Likewise, Taylor will wrap up her Mega Eras Tour in 2024 and she will be ready to take a break.
And the Final Reason...
They're both killer dancers. And what better reason do you need? I'm kind of joking, but they are both great dancers.
So I'm gunning for them and so is Cooper. We think it's going to be really hard, but we hope they make it.
I've never been a fangirl of anyone or really been too much into celebrities, but man, I hope they make it. I hope they go all the way.
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